Street Harassment

A boy in front of me on the bus tilted his head back and said, "See ya, sweetheart" as a woman was getting off.

My heart started pounding a little.

'Please let him be getting off before me, please, please, please.'

"She waved at you," his buddy said, and winked.

Yeah, right.

The comment was not a big deal, but I was freaking out.  I was dreading getting off.  She was bundled up in a coat with a big scarf and hat and boots, just like me.  What would he say to me?

I contemplated getting off the bus later if he was still on when we reached it.  How much later?  One stop?  Two?

I sighed in relief when he got off well before I needed to.

Sounds pretty ridiculous, huh?  The worst part is that the oldest boy, the one who made the comment, couldn't have been more than 15.  The younger looked closer to 12.

After they got off, I laughed at myself a little. They were just young boys, but their comments had given me a strong emotional response.

First off, I was angry. I am so sick of the way so many males think it is okay to speak to women they do not know.  I am sick of being called 'sweetheart', 'babe', and 'honey' by men I've never met before.  That's not my name.  I don't walk around calling men these names. In fact, I don't know any women who do.  Unless they're being used as endearing names by loved ones, they're demeaning.

Underneith the anger, I felt threatened. I was alone on the bus.  Yes, they were young men, but the older was larger than me.  There was two of them and one of me.  When someone calls a woman some belittling name, it gives me a good impression of how they feel about women.  The boys were young, and clearly picking up this behaviour from someone older in their lives, but it still made me feel threatened. Boys this age have been known to commit horrific acts of sexual violence. Just look at the case of the Steubenville rape.

I know, a lot of people out there probably don't understand my feelings.  I've often been told that it's a compliment and I should be happy for the attention.

But a lot of people do understand, and are fighting against this kind of unwanted attention, which is referred to as street harassment. Some women have created cards they hand out to people who publicly harass them.  Some cards are just a gentle reminder that you need to be mindful of how you treat people.  Some are not so gentle.  These campaigns have been quite successful.

Bitch magazine's winter 2013 issue (no. 57), Shannon Palus' article Card Sharp: Putting Harassment in the Penalty Box discusses harassment.  She writes about a woman who started handing out cards to men who treated her in inappropriate ways and, as a result, brought enough attention to the issue that harassment policies were adopted at conferences she has handed cards out at.

Hollaback! is a global movement to end street harassment.  Their website reads, "Hollaback! is a movement dedicated to ending street harassment using mobile technology. Street harassment is one of the most pervasive forms of gender-based violence and one of the least legislated against. Comments from 'You’d look good on me' to groping, flashing and assault are a daily, global reality for women and LGBTQ individuals. But it is rarely reported, and it’s culturally accepted as ‘the price you pay’ for being a woman or for being gay. At Hollaback!, we don’t buy it." Hollaback! Winnipeg just released findings of a survey that indicate that 94 per cent of self-identified females, trans and genderqueer people have experienced sexual harassment. Of the same group, 63 per cent experience street harassment at least once a month.

Catcalling may not seem like a big deal to many people, but for those who know how quickly it can escalate, even a 15 year old boy's comments can make you feel uneasy.